If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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