38 yer olds are good kisserssss
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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