i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
