Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
