I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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