i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
