If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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