Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
