I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
