they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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