don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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