so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
