Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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