but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
