My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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