what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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