She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
