k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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