just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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