I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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