why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
