The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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