Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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