the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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