Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
