come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
