I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
