Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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