In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
