i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
