i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
