What a fucking waste of an outfit
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
