you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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