So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
