i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize