just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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