There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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