I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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