hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
