Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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