She's JV to your varsity
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
