I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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