i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's never too late to be topless.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
