Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
