2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
