Nicole vs. Life
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
