Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
