mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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