I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
