Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
