question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
