she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
