Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
babies were throwing up all over the place
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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