i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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