I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Boobs speak an international language.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
