I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
