and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize