we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
