Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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