if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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