now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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