you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
