so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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